PhilM
Location: Salinas, CA
Age: 40
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"Only two things are infinite--the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former." Albert Einstein

"To announce that there must be no criticism of the president, or that we are to stand by the president right or wrong, is not only unpatriotic and servile, but is morally treasonable to the American public." Theodore Roosevelt

"I'm not as think as you confused I am." Someone, somewhere, at some time

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Monday, March 05, 2007
It's the shits

Yes, Happy Villain, I said "shit" on my blog. Get over it. I'm in a shitty mood, and it's more literal than you probably think.

Almost a year ago, I went on in to the doctor because of some abdominal discomfort. Honestly, it felt a lot like a bladder infection, so that's what I told the doc I thought I had. He disagreed. Since he made me pee in a cup and then ran some kind of super secret scientific examination-type things on it, I figured he ruled it out properly. His opinion was diverticulitis. Since I didn't have health insurance at the time, he concluded that further testing would not be necessary, gave me a prescription of anti-biotics & sent me on my way. Now, I'm not implying that I'm independantly wealthy, but at the time I did have resources that probably would have covered basic tests, and expressed to the doc that if he really felt it necessary, I'd find a way to pay for the tests in order to find out what was wrong. "No need," was his response. He was sure it was just diverticulitis. A few weeks later, things were better, so I figured the anti-biotics had done the trick, the doc was right, and it was a closed case.

About a month ago, I started having some abdominal problems again. Figuring it was a flair up of the previous diverticulitis, I scheduled an appointment with the doc. Well, scratch that. Actually, I spent 3 fucking days trying to schedule an appointment with my regular doc, and after getting nowhere, decided to just head on over to Doctors on Duty after work one day. It should be noted that this is the second time in a row this has happened. Remember the door vs. toe incident? Yeah, had to go to DoD on that one, too, because I couldn't get an appointment with the regular pussbag doctor. Now that I've got insurance, I'm shopping around for a new primary care place. But that's not really the point of this post.

The Doctors on Duty doc was genuinely puzzled by why the previous doctor was so confident it was diverticulitis, since apparently it's rather rare for someone my age to have that. And, while I exhibitted many of the symptoms, I also had a few non-standard ones. So, he promptly scheduled a colonoscopy for me. Which I had today. Now, for those of you who don't know, a colonoscopy is when they take a look at your colon (large intestine). With a camera. Without cutting you open. Thus, I spent most of the weekend consuming nothing but water and laxatives, so that I'd be good and prepared for when a complete stranger shoved a digital camera up my ass. I don't think there's any need to go into further details, and I'll spare you all by not posting pictures.

Anyway, end result? Do I have diverticulitis? Nope. Diverticulosis, which is what leads to diverticulitis? Nope. Any type of colon infection? Nope. The good news is that there are no overt signs of colon cancer, which is something I was genuinely concerned about since my mom's side of the family has had a little history of that. However, the doctor did feel it necessary to remove some tissue and send it off for a biopsy. I'll find out in a week or two what the results are. And I now have absolutely no idea what the next step is in figuring out the abdominal issues.

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