Several days ago, I walking into my kitchen and was confronted by spiders. Yes, spiders. Plural. Lots of them. Almost 2 dozen, as a matter of fact. Each one was about the same size as the wolf spider who tried to break my hand
. Big brown things, all just sitting there staring at me with their beady red eyes. As you can imagine, it was rather unsettling.
But did I panic? Nope. I swiftly went into action, decapitating one almost immediately. Then I grabbed another, snapping each of its legs off one by one before ripping into its body. I dispatched 6 or 7 in rather sadistic fashion before regaining my composure. Then I gathered all the remaining arachnids together, put them in a box, and mailed them to my friend Froot Loop
as a birthday gift. Isn't that such a wonderfull idea? Wouldn't you just be so appreciative of a friend who sent you such a lovely gift? Sure you would. And I am very sure she was quite thrilled to open that package and find a dozen or so big ugly spiders. Hopefully they survived the trip relatively unscathed, because broken spiders aren't nearly as good a birthday present as whole ones. Wouldn't you agree?
Proof there really were big spiders in my kitchen.
Posted at 10/24/2005 8:09:09 am by PhilM