My shower broke, dammit. Well, not really my shower. Just the drain for the shower/tub. I noticed it was clogged, so tried to unplug it yesterday. Plunger didn't do anything. Liquid Plumber didn't do anything. So, I figured it was probably a really, really bad hair clog. That happens now and again because Duncan sheds a lot and I don't clean as much as I should. So, I get my handy-dandy immitation plumber's snake (i.e., a long piece of bent piano wire). No sooner did I put the wire to use than the entire drain assembly broke loose. The flange (or whatever it's called) popped off, the drain pipe dangled away, and now any water going into the tub drains directly under my house. Which probably isn't good.
Considering I'm not terribly fond of tightly enclosed spaces, and I'm mildly arachnaphobic, and going under my house to exact repairs would require scooting along on my belly in a barely large enough crawl space filled with spiders (including, I'm pretty sure, and entire colony of black widows numbering at least 47,326*), I think it's safe to say that I'm going to need to bite the bullet and hire a friggin' plumber. That, or stop showering. I haven't fully made up my mind yet. But I'm guessing the latter option won't really improve my chances with the ladies. Of course, neither will hiring a plumber, directly. I mean, how many women are turned on by a guy who walks up to them and says "Hey baby, I just paid some guy with a butt-crack to fix my drain"?**
*Estimate based on the fact that I once found one black widow in the shed in my back yard.
**If you happen to know any women who actually are turned on by this, please feel free to pass on their contact info to me.***
***Unless, of course, the contact information includes such words as "Correctional Facility", "State Prison", "trailer #", "rehab center", etc.
Posted at 9/21/2005 7:46:17 am by PhilM