Location: Salinas, CA
Age: 40
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"Only two things are infinite--the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former." Albert Einstein

"To announce that there must be no criticism of the president, or that we are to stand by the president right or wrong, is not only unpatriotic and servile, but is morally treasonable to the American public." Theodore Roosevelt

"I'm not as think as you confused I am." Someone, somewhere, at some time

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Wednesday, September 21, 2005
When it rains it showers

My shower broke, dammit. Well, not really my shower. Just the drain for the shower/tub. I noticed it was clogged, so tried to unplug it yesterday. Plunger didn't do anything. Liquid Plumber didn't do anything. So, I figured it was probably a really, really bad hair clog. That happens now and again because Duncan sheds a lot and I don't clean as much as I should. So, I get my handy-dandy immitation plumber's snake (i.e., a long piece of bent piano wire). No sooner did I put the wire to use than the entire drain assembly broke loose. The flange (or whatever it's called) popped off, the drain pipe dangled away, and now any water going into the tub drains directly under my house. Which probably isn't good.

Considering I'm not terribly fond of tightly enclosed spaces, and I'm mildly arachnaphobic, and going under my house to exact repairs would require scooting along on my belly in a barely large enough crawl space filled with spiders (including, I'm pretty sure, and entire colony of black widows numbering at least 47,326*), I think it's safe to say that I'm going to need to bite the bullet and hire a friggin' plumber. That, or stop showering. I haven't fully made up my mind yet. But I'm guessing the latter option won't really improve my chances with the ladies. Of course, neither will hiring a plumber, directly. I mean, how many women are turned on by a guy who walks up to them and says "Hey baby, I just paid some guy with a butt-crack to fix my drain"?**

*Estimate based on the fact that I once found one black widow in the shed in my back yard.
**If you happen to know any women who actually are turned on by this, please feel free to pass on their contact info to me.***
***Unless, of course, the contact information includes such words as "Correctional Facility", "State Prison", "trailer #", "rehab center", etc.

Posted at 9/21/2005 7:46:17 am by PhilM

September 27, 2005   07:48 AM PDT
TOO FUNNY.....your home repairs sound like mine.

You should be careful in what part of town you say a guy with a butt-crack to fix my drain. That cute chick might be weilding a penis.

And since you didn't add "mental unit" to your kidding....

I've hope you've bathed


p.s....the damn mouse did lick the pb taught a class on how to do this to the little vermin didn't you.......So I will try your dog food suggestion tonight.....THANKS...
September 21, 2005   09:13 PM PDT
there's this girl that might actually find either irresistable ...although she's foaming in the mouth. will that do?

hope your shower or whatever get fix soon.
September 21, 2005   07:23 PM PDT
Call the plumber but get a tube of butt spackel just in case.
Love the picture of your Golden.
Zube Girl
September 21, 2005   03:54 PM PDT
I'll keep my eye out for a girl like that. Just for you.
September 21, 2005   01:34 PM PDT
Hey Phil, you are more than welcome to borrow mine, long to go, but body odour prevention has no bounds!
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